The Space between you and Me.

(a rendition of Psalms 139 – a poem from Jesus)

My love, 
I have searched every inch of your soul,
and I know you well.
I know when you sit at your desk and
when you get up, restless, to pace.
There is no amount of distance 
between us 
that keeps me 
from understanding how you think.

I have already navigated your path,
held up a compass for you,
So you can find the best spots to rest.
And I am already acquainted 
with all your quirks; 
the tilt of your chin 
and all your different smiles;
the way you bite your lip when you think. 
Every single habit I’ve studied hard 
and memorized.

There is not one single word you speak,
Not the ones that come from sadness 
or pain,
or joy,
Not the ones driven by desperation, or when you
forget
you’re mine,
That I don’t already know completely.
Because I heard it in your heart 
first.

You keep thinking you’re alone,
but I am crowded right up next to you -
I have you hedged in.
By me. 
Your Lover, your Friend,
Your most intimate Thought
and the Breath that fills your Soul.
I’ve already walked ahead of you
and I’ve got your back.
You don’t always get it, you can’t quite hang on 
to what I’m doing, 
to how much I love you 
- the lengths I’ll go to, 
but,
My hand is always, 
always on you somewhere.

Sometimes you want to run away
and hide from me 
when things get too heavy 
- but
Where do you think you can you go from my Spirit?
Where can you flee from my presence?
If you come up to heaven,
I will be waiting at the door,
If you hunker down in hell,
thinking it’s where you belong -
Well, 
my love,
I’ve already broken down its gates,
and I’ll be ready to bring you out 
when you’re ready
 to see me 
sitting there beside you 
in the flames.

If you think you can get up
before the sun
and dwell on the farthest side of earth
where no one knows my name;
Even if you live alone on some mountain
in Timbuktu,
The first thing you’ll see
when you wake there,
is My left hand 
tugging you forward,
into my chest, 
while my right gathers you close 
and carries you
next to my heart.

If you try to tell me that you belong
in the dark,
- that it will smother you;
hide you from me 
with all 
its nasty accusations…
I will shine a light right into it,
unravelling it at light’s speed.
There is no dark that can hide you from me.
I am light,
and my love will burn away
anything that tries to separate
you from me.
I will find you there,
no matter how thick it feels,
no matter how lost you think you are.

For I made you mine, my love,
before you were born.
I made each beautiful piece of your soul.
I fashioned you out of my own self -
and nothing I make - 
nothing -
is not marvellous, beautiful,
and beyond any
human measure of compare.

The substance of your soul was not hidden from me,
 ever.
You are free to choose,
to live, to breathe, to mess up.
But there is no part of you
that is a secret from me,
no surprise that catches me off guard.
I am the one who wrought 
the treasure of you before you
took your first breath. 
It was only you and me
first. 
At the beginning.
And it will be you and me
First. 
At the end.

Do you have any idea 
how often I think of you?
How piled up my thoughts are?
I’ll tell you:
As many as the grains of sand on the shore.
Do you know how many times I’ve composed a song
about you and hummed it under
my breath?

If you knew, my love,
If you only knew the height, 
and width and breadth of how much
I love you -
you would stop worrying so much,
you would stop trying so hard
to get my attention
- the attention you already have.

You would rest,
you would stop fretting,
and you would ignore those accusations 
that keep trying to make you
feel so alone.
So unworthy.

Because I will never,
ever. 
Leave you to face them alone -
I will not let them survive and stay in your heart.
No matter how long it takes for me
to burn them out.
I will keep working 
and restoring
and healing until you 
remember who you are.

And I will never,
ever.
let there be a single atom
of space 
that stays
between you
and Me.